Friday hate

The weekend is here, I'm free to ignore emails, the weather is coming around, the Mets won. Simply, I'm as happy as I could be.  I just wanted to express a pet peeve of mine (that anyone that knows me is sick of hearing about).  Sooooo, here it is.  

Do you live off of the Lorimer stop on the L?

If so, how do you get to the street level once you exit the train?

If you answered "through the emergency doors"... I really hate you and want to trip you on your way up to your apartment, that is probably fancier than mine.

(I had a stupid little illustration to post that doesn't much help my cause, but I can't figure out how to make it viewable).

At any rate, do you ever get off of the subway.. walk up the stairs.. push the emergency door... and hear a loud alarm?

Oh yeah!  That alarm marks the beginning of your lazy, shitty life!

Is it really an emergency that you get home and decide where you would like to eat goat cheese for the night?  Please take the time to walk three steps to your left.

A general rule would be the following:

 If you push  a door open and an alarm rings out... you went the wrong way.  I've seriously seen people wait in front of the emergency door for someone else to make the first step.  You people chew away at my soul.  As a child my mom always warned me that "people that take the two second short-cut getting out of the subway" are giant pieces of shit.  She was right... really right.

Everyone has had an awful job in their life, and every single one of those jobs was accompanied by a single act by selfish people that made you want to burn down a village.  That act is you trudging up the stairs in your cowboy boots, shoving open the alarm door with your fingerless gloves, and emerging into the sunlight only to realize that your cell phone still needs a couple of minutes to establish a connection.  Please take the time to push your way through those turny things before you go home to your little paradise.  And, grab a tinga taco on your way home.

Love, 

Andrew